Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
