Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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