Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
