Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
worst night to have a conscience
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
