i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
