I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
