He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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