Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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