im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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