How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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