as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
