No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
