Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
