D3 body, D1 cock
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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