Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
