I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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