i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I FOUND THE LEGS
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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