Christians are straight up FREAKS
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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