What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
