We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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