How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I see more hoeing in ur future
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