hotel room ftw
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
