see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
