We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
