Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
