I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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