Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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