just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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