his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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