wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
