Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
