Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
