Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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