worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
