She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
