Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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