So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
