I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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