somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
