Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
