last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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