I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
