Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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