he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
