Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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