Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
