can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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