my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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