I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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