so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
