He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
